Hobart’s Complimentary Afternoon
Hobart put twelve bowls of candy outside his trash can. His sign said, “Free candy. Stay as long as you like.” He hoped everybody would stay a very long time.
Jim and Bob arrived first, already arguing. Then came more Schnerds. Hobart told them about the Schnerdball team he used to captain. Most of them were looking into the bowls. “You should have seen me play,” Hobart said. Someone asked whether he had any more pink sweets.
He did. They were his own pink sweets, saved for later. Hobart brought them out. He brought out tomorrow’s candy too. By then, somebody had started a song about Hobart being the Candy King. Hobart sang louder than anybody.
When the last bowl emptied, the visitors began remembering other places they needed to be. Jim remembered an appointment. Bob remembered that they shared a body and would therefore also be going. Hobart offered to find another bag. Jim and Bob were already halfway down the road.
Darlene arrived with her stick. “Are you coming to the Pew?” she asked. The Pew meant gently touching shrubs with sticks and saying “pew pew.” “I’m expecting somebody,” Hobart replied. He checked the road. Darlene waited beside his can.
“We could do the shrubs just here,” Darlene suggested. Hobart agreed, provided they stayed where he could see his bowls. Halfway through his first “pew pew,” he heard footsteps. He hurried back. The visitor only wanted the bowl they had brought.
By the time Hobart returned to the shrub, Darlene had gone farther down the street. He could hear her mooing somewhere. Then he could not hear her anymore.
Hobart looked down the street. Darlene had waited beside his can. She had asked him to come with her. He could remember both things. Now that she was gone, he wondered whether she even liked him.
