Juniper’s Thirty Thousand Year Plan
Juniper found three seeds and announced that she was growing Giant Schnerdwoods. “Thirty thousand years old,” she told Hobart. “Taller than the mountain.” She made a chart before anything had grown.
Hobart gave her a banana peel for the soil. Juniper gave him an Assistant Director of Soil badge. Hobart began telling creatures he worked in forestry. Juniper planned an opening ceremony and a speech that her father might hear about.
When the leaves opened, Darlene came to look. “Those look like the plants with the ‘Do not touch’ sign at school,” Darlene said. “I know what I planted,” Juniper replied. She moved her chart in front of the smallest plant.
The school gardener came the next morning. “Poison ivy,” the gardener said. “Nobody touch it.” Juniper showed her the chart. “The plants are growing extremely well,” Juniper pointed out. “Yes,” the gardener replied. “The poison ivy is growing extremely well.”
They put a barrier around the plants while the gardener arranged their removal. Juniper did not cancel the ceremony. The invitations had already gone out. Hobart had already told everyone there would be snacks.
At the ceremony, Juniper gave her speech from outside the barrier. Jim asked when the trees would get taller. Bob asked why the forest was fenced off. Hobart wanted to know whether losing the forest meant losing his job. “Please stop interrupting,” Juniper said.
That evening, she took down the speech but left up the chart. The plants were bigger again. Hobart was still wearing his badge. By breakfast, two creatures were calling Juniper the Poison Ivy Expert. She could not tell whether they were making fun of her, and she was not going to ask.
