Darlene and the Thing She Wasn’t Saying
Darlene was in class when a sentence appeared in her head: “I am a pterodactyl.” She had not chosen it. She did not want to shout it. The teacher was explaining subtraction, and Darlene was trying to listen. “I am a pterodactyl,” her head supplied again.
Darlene checked that both her mouths were closed. Then she wondered whether checking had made one of them move. She checked again. She counted the legs under her desk, then the chairs near the door. Halfway through the chairs, the sentence came back. What if she said it? Had she already said it? She looked around to see whether anybody was looking at her.
“Darlene, what did you get?” the teacher asked. Darlene had missed the question. For a moment, she was certain the wrong sentence was about to come out. “Could you say the question again?” Darlene asked the teacher. The teacher repeated it. Darlene answered “four.” Then she spent the next three questions checking whether she had really said “four.”
At home, Darlene opened her Advanced Moo course. A cow on television had promised there was a cow inside everybody. Darlene had hoped learning a moo might give her heads something else to do. The course contained a recording, a photograph of grass and a certificate she was not allowed to open. “Become the meadow,” the recorded cow instructed. “I am a pterodactyl,” Darlene thought. She moved the grass photograph closer.
One mouth mooed. The other made a noise like Hobart dragging his trash can over a sleeping goose. Outside, Jim began singing about the goose. Bob corrected Jim’s tune. “Please stop singing that,” Darlene called through the window. “We’re improving it,” Jim called back. Darlene put on her pink headphones, but the recorded cow was in those. She rewound the lesson. She had missed what came after the meadow.
Later, Darlene took her stick outside for the Pew, which meant gently touching shrubs and saying “pew pew.” At the first shrub, she accidentally mooed. Hobart wanted her to do it again. Darlene liked the sound too, although she was still annoyed about the goose song. Between shrubs, the other sentence returned. She checked her mouths. Hobart was busy trying to moo at a hedge and had not noticed.
At lunch the next day, Darlene was listening to Juniper explain why fish should not be allowed to drive the gondola. Then Juniper asked Darlene, “What’s your favorite prehistoric animal?” Darlene put down her sandwich. In her head, the sentence was already waiting.
